Author Archives: john-houlihan

#13 Retirement Plan

When I get older, I’ve decided I’m to go to go a little mad, not quite stark staring bonkers or anything but peculiar, eccentric and strange. I’ll develop weird obsessions and phobias, hoard bin bags or dig tunnels in the cellar. I’ll mutter in high streets and exude a malodorous smell. I’ll buy a walking […]

June 12, 2013 – 9:49 am | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #13 Retirement Plan

#12 Beyond the cheese course

“Hello, nice meet you, we didn’t get a chance to speak during dinner, I’m Letitia.” “Brian.” “You seem like a strong, handsome, charming kind of fellow Brian, tell me …do you swing?” “Aye lass, but it usually takes a new ball and’t right overhead conditions.” “I see …well not beyond the bounds of possibility.”

June 12, 2013 – 9:49 am | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #12 Beyond the cheese course

#11 Intruder!

“Hello, which emergency service do you require?” “Oh, the police please, dear.” “What’s the nature of the emergency?” “Well dear, I can hear strange noises coming from downstairs, I think we may have burglars.” “Okay, okay, stay calm and stay on the line, I’m dispatching a patrol unit right away, they’ll be with you in […]

June 12, 2013 – 9:48 am | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #11 Intruder!

# 10 A New Bank Holiday

“Hi I’m Dave Bland and you’re listening to BBC Radio Twelve. A quick reminder (as if you needed it) that today is National Fornication day, the one day of the year you can enjoy no questions asked, guilt-free sex with multiple strangers, with no comebacks, consequences or repercussions, safe in the knowledge your husband, wife, […]

June 9, 2013 – 3:37 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on # 10 A New Bank Holiday

#9 Scrap Heap Challenge

Glancing up, he could see the gleaming city in the distance. His head went down again as he sifted through the refuse pile and to Azrael’s delight, he uncovered the tangled strands of a length of copper wire. A happy find, two or three days good eating at least. He tore and clawed at the […]

June 9, 2013 – 2:51 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #9 Scrap Heap Challenge

#8 Remote Control

Your day’s work is over and you drive home through the drowsy warmth of a suburban evening, at peace. When people ask what you do, your lies are well polished, the practiced deceptions of a surrogate warrior. You’re simultaneously on the front line and three thousand miles away, an invisible predator hanging over the battlefield […]

June 9, 2013 – 2:50 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Uncategorized, Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #8 Remote Control

# 7 Insurance

It is a generally considered a wise precaution when undertaking any new job to open a private file detailing exactly where the business is burying the bodies required to succeed in the modern cut throat world of commerce. Less wise is to store that file somewhere it can – even accidently – be found, especially […]

June 9, 2013 – 2:48 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on # 7 Insurance

#6 Underground

A growing hum which swells to a rumble. The precursor, air, pushed forward like the stale, exhaled breath of the tunnel. Light bending around the curve, then an outraged roar as it bursts into the station. I waver on the brink, a single step, an impact like an insect on a windscreen and then sweet […]

June 9, 2013 – 2:47 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #6 Underground

# 5 Three Wishes, Part One: Eternal Youth

wise to exercise a degree of precision when a Djinn grants you three wishes, three chances to obtain your very own heart’s desire. I asked for an eternal youth. Big mistake. That’s him over there with the sullen look, the pasty face and the poor personal hygene. Moody bastard.

June 9, 2013 – 2:45 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on # 5 Three Wishes, Part One: Eternal Youth

#4 Neophobia

It was with some trepidation that Axel confronted his greatest fear, only to discover that he was no longer very afraid of it any more. Damn. It was a moment of mixed joy and terror before he realized he was now suffering from disconcertaphobia – the fear of not knowing what your greatest fear is.

June 9, 2013 – 2:43 pm | By john-houlihan | Posted in Very Short Stories | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on #4 Neophobia