John Houlihan.net

“Hello, which emergency service do you require?”
“Oh, the police please, dear.”
“What’s the nature of the emergency?”
“Well dear, I can hear strange noises coming from downstairs, I think we may have burglars.”
“Okay, okay, stay calm and stay on the line, I’m dispatching a patrol unit right away, they’ll be with you in two minutes. Now don’t worry, they’ll see you safe.”
“Oh no, no, it’s not me I’m worried about dear, it’s the burglars. You see it’s a waxing gibbous moon tonight and Eugene has slipped his chain …again. You’d best tell them to hurry.”